by Nicole Lam, MA, RCC | Apr 3, 2026 | Relationships
Why Willpower Alone Doesn’t Fix Relationship Anxiety People with relationship anxiety are often highly self-aware. They know their reactions are disproportionate. They tell themselves to “just relax” or “stop overthinking.” And it does not work because the anxiety is...
by Nicole Lam, MA, RCC | Apr 1, 2026 | Relationships
Relationship anxiety is not a personality flaw. It is typically an adaptation — a response the nervous system developed in the context of early relationships where connection was uncertain. Attachment Theory and Early Caregiving John Bowlby’s attachment theory (1969)...
by Nicole Lam, MA, RCC | Mar 30, 2026 | Relationships
You check your phone again, no reply. It has been forty minutes. Your mind begins to build a case: they are losing interest. You said something wrong at dinner. They are pulling away. By the time they respond (cheerfully, warmly), you have already lived through an...
by Nicole Lam, MA, RCC | Feb 15, 2026 | Relationships, Trauma & Recovery
Many people find themselves in a cycle of choosing similar partners, sometimes wondering, How did I end up here again? There can be a quiet frustration in recognizing the pattern: the same emotional distance, the same intensity, the same push and pull, even when you...
by Nicole Lam, MA, RCC | Dec 30, 2025 | Uncategorized
Finding Your Voice: Therapy for Identity, Belonging, and Intergenerational Healing Many people come to therapy carrying questions they’ve held quietly for years: Who am I beneath expectations? Why do I feel torn between worlds? Why does my body react before my mind...
